Rigsby's room. Rigsby is getting ready to visit Brenda after she walked into his room in a negligee, looking for Alan. She thought Rigsby had gone away for Christmas. Rigsby had wished for just such a treat over his turkey wishbone.
ALAN
What are you looking so
pleased about? (Rigsby smiles broadly) Eh, you're not going up there,
are you?
Why not? It's what I wished for. (He picks up the wishbone). They never worked before. Must be all those hormones they keep feeding them.
ALAN
Rigsby, it's just a coincidence.
You don't think Father Christmas sent her, do you?
RIGSBY
I wanted something warm.
It beats stringback gloves and a chunky sweater.
ALAN
She probably just decided
to come home early. She hasn't just stepped off a train from Toy Town.
RIGSBY
Yes, but why did she decide
to come home early? Because she's been missing me.
Missing you?!!!
RIGSBY
Of course! She's missed
the excitement. You know how it is with me and women. It's the old 'animal
magnetism' again.
ALAN
'The old animal magnetism'
hasn't done you much good so far, has it?
RIGSBY
Ah, but this is different
- it's Christmas. A time when a woman needs a man. It's emotional, they
start lowering their defences. It's like V J night all over again.
ALAN
V J night?
RIGSBY
Ooh, what? Japan weren't
the only ones who surrendered that night, I'll tell you ! It was marvellous
that night:- there was dancing in the street, fireworks exploding against
the night sky. The free world was celebrating a victory for democracy.
How did you get on?
RIGSBY
Eh? Oh, er, not too good
actually. Stood too near to the fireworks. Got a rocket up my battledress.
ALAN
You're not too lucky where
women are concerned, are you?
RIGSBY
I don't know, she
came down in her nightdress. It wasn't to borrow a loaf of bread. She thought
I was going to be here on my own. Anyway, she promised me a kiss for Christmas.
ALAN
When was that?
RIGSBY
When I unblocked her drains.
ALAN
That was last July!
RIGSBY
She remembers! A promise
is a promise. What I'll do is: I'll invite her down for a few drinks, promote
the festive spirit, get her under the mistletoe... Bob's your uncle.
ALAN
Hey Rigsby, what about me?
RIGSBY
You can blow up a few balloons.