At the end of Series Two, both Reggie and Elizabeth have faked their suicide and are roaming the Dorset countryside dressed as tramps and calling themselves Mr. and Mrs. Gossamer. But they've both had enough and decide to return to society. Reggie is not looking forward to living an easy life on the money raised from the sale of his Grot empire of rubbish stores. He realises there is something he must do, a plan "to help fight the miseries of this poor old world...a plan that will send the name of Perrin ringing out proudly for prosperity."

    Unfortunately, he hasn't got a clue what that plan will entail.

    The idea comes to him in the bank. A man who had worked his way to the front of a queue finds the position closed in his face, so joins Reggie's queue, pushing in front of him. Reggie says nothing, but the man behind him does. An altercation develops between the two men, with Reggie trying in vain to intervene and calm the situation. It is then the idea comes to him. He forces the two men into a handshake and rushes out. Elizabeth thinks it is a brilliant idea and they purchase a house at 19 Oslo Avenue, Botchley. Elizabeth furnishes the property while Reggie sets out to recruit his community's staff.

   He first telephones C.J., but Mrs. C.J. tells him she hasn't seen him since he too faked his suicide at the same time as Reggie. He finds C.J. busking to the passing crowds in town, and with an offer of £10,000 per year - albeit with accommodation in a tent - C.J. accepts. Next, Reggie finds Doc Morrissey feeding popadums to the local starlings. He tells Reggie he is a Professor of English, although he only has one student, and only calls himself a professor because it pays better.. The Doc also agrees to come on board. Tony Webster is a sales rep., selling Uniwarm Central Heating systems - not very successfully. He willingly takes the job at Perrins, and accepts on behalf of his wife, Joan. Reggie then recruits David and Prue Harris-Jones who bring along their baby son Reggie, named in honour of the man David respects so much. Tom, Linda and eventually Jimmy all become members of staff, and the first day of their training period soon arrives.
    On the first day, everybody's jobs have to be decided (see below for a list of who does what). Promotion is the next step and the staff are all asked to write adverts for the local papers (see below for a list of their slogans). Soon, the first guest arrives: Mr. Babbacombe, an undertaker. Petrified at the thought of being the only guest, the staff dress up as 'other guests', but he sees through their disguises and flees in panic. But a trickle of guests soon becomes a flood - all the community's hastily-purchased adjacent properties are bursting at the seams, and the community is a great success (see below for the complete list of guests). But a storm is brewing on the horizon.
    Jimmy's crooked partner of days gone by, Clive 'Lofty' Anstruther, becomes a guest at Perrins, but embarks on a one-man crimewave of petty thefts. Next, a femme fatale, Deborah Swaffham, tries to lure the male staff into her lair, putting married relations in jeopardy when their other halves find out. An outbreak of dysentery puts most of the staff and many guests out of action for a while and Reggie, fed up with one bad thing after another, decides to go to the pub. There he meets the Irish labourer/genius Seamus Finnegan. He tells Reggie that dark deeds are afoot, involving the local villainous fraternity who are about to wreak revenge on the community that has tried to put a stop to their activities. Not surprisingly, all the guests leave and Perrins is wound down. C.J. finds Reggie a job as his 'think tank' at C.J.'s brother's company Amalgamated Aerosols, and the series ends.

STAFF JOBS
. 

C.J. - work
Elizabeth - secretary
Tony - culture
Joan - music
Tom - sport
Linda - art
Jimmy - head of expeditionary force
Doc Morrissey - psychologist
Prue - Old English crafts
David - sex
Kenny McBlane - chef

---

NEWSPAPER ADVERTISEMENTS

Mr. Babbacombe, undertaker, feels an outcast and a pariah Mr. Pelham, meat farmer, gone off meat Thruxton Appleby, textiles tycoon, not liked Bernard Trilling, Head of comedy at Anaemia  Television, lost sense of humour VAT inspector, hates the fact that he likes his work Probation officer, hates the fact that he hates his work Careers officer, unemployed Arthur Noblett, arc welder Middle-manager, multi-national plastics company Director, finance firm specialising in pyramid selling Hilary Meadows, bored housewife Mr. Dent, Botchley Borough Council Mr. Winstanley, Botchley Borough Council Mr. Jenkins, Botchley Borough Council Mr. Pennell, Botchley Borough Council factory owner, raving poof factory worker, raving poof A. B. Muelling, vet, shy Insurance salesman, lost motivation

Ethel Merman, housewife, not the legendary Ethel Merman Mr. Edwards/Brakespear/Phipps-Partington/  Johnston/Meredith, conman Editor of lonely hearts column, feeling lonely Telephone engineer, can't communicate Glen Higgins, mindless yobbo, moving in wrong circles Elton Johnson, black teacher, hates job but can't get sacked Clive 'Lofty' Anstruther, sucker and conman Deborah Swaffham, femme fatale Police Superintendent Potts housewife, longs to be a career woman career woman, longs to be a housewife Doctor, overworked Antiques shop owner, underworked Imports manager, disillusioned Exports manager, disillusioned three football managers, sacked fortune teller, will have nervous breakdown next April car salesman, over-stressed concrete salesman, pre-stressed

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Text (c) Paul Fisher 2004 . Pictures (c) BBC